Let's start with the big man himself. I was Team Ben during last season's The Bachelorette. I actually thought he was a much better pick than Shawn (hi Kaitlyn!), but thats a moot point now, isn't it? Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how this season pans out. Hopefully being on the other side of things, we won't get another meltdown from him about how he is "unlovable". I thought he handled the first night pretty well. I actually liked that he didn't start sucking face with every girl the first night he met them. However, I did have some issues with the group of girls he gave roses to. There were a couple head scratchers, which we'll get into below, so obviously not the strongest group I've seen in my day. And I've been around for a lot of these seasons. So let's get this thing started and take a look at the entertainment for this season; the contestants...
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This is the tough one. Listen, there's no contestants I hope succeed more than the girls who come on the Bachelor with kids. They've obviously been in a shitty relationship and deserve to get a fresh start (look, I have a heart). Now, having said that, it never ends well for them on the show. Amanda is a babe and her daughters are adorable, but 8 weeks isn't nearly enough time to get to know a girl and her two kids well enough to give them a ring.
My girl, Lace, said it perfectly. "I don't even know who the other girl, but either way he can meet the duds first...". Pretty much sums up Amber's role for this season. I don't see her lasting much longer.
Becca is always a force to be reckoned with. Didn't think we'd be seeing her on The Bachelor again, but hey, to each their own. I'd stay away though. A repeat contestant is always a red flag for the bachelor.
Rule #2: Never trust a girl who cries after not getting a rose on the first night.
And on your way out, please go pick up the bread you broke all over the walkway. Thanks.
Is that a Disney fairytale? Nope, just Caila's last relationship she walked away from because she saw Ben on TV. The same type of relationship every girl in this world dreams of their whole life. She seems like an awesome chick, but common Caila, a relationship started out of fate is a once in a lifetime thing. She better keep that little tidbit to herself for as long as possible, because once Ben hears that one he's got no choice but to hit the panic button. Can't be putting a ring on someone's finger who thinks there's always something better out there.
Unless you can pull off a 2 for 1 pick ala the Canucks in '99 with the Sedin twins, this is a tough one. Ben should have flipped a coin to pick who was staying because nothing good can come from having identical twins in the house.
"I had to find out if you're the onesie for me"? Are you kidding me!?
In hindsight, handing Ben a potential "Save The Date" immediately upon meeting him probably wasn't the play.
Poor, Ben. Guy thought he was coming on the Bachelor to get away from Kaitlyn breaking his heart and NBC sticks one of her friends in the group of contestants. Don't see this one sticking around too long, but can't wait for her to drop a "no wonder Kaitlyn didn't pick you" when he leads her on and then sends her home.
I like this girl, but I'm afraid she's not nearly aggressive enough. Hopefully Ben got a good enough glimpse of her personality during their short talk about relationship morals and values at the cocktail party. She seems to be very soft spoken and not confrontational, so if she can manage to get through the first few weeks when all the girls are pushing each other around for time with Ben she might be able to make a good run at the Final Rose.
Thought Jessica was going to get a rose, but then again Ben had to play the guessing game with her to figure out her name when they talked during the cocktail party. Usually not a good sign when the Bachelor doesn't remember your name...
A self proclaimed "unicorn". Ya, go look up unicorn on urban dictionary and you'll see why I'm confused by this one...
Great first impression out of the limo. Ben says he loves her dress and she whips up an awkward pickup line about how tight her dress is. Either quite the coincidence or she's real quick on her feet. I'm taking the latter. She's my sleeper pick this season because she is so opposite of Ben that it just might work (and also because I'm terrified to write anything negative about her after watching her intro). I don't think she is going to get the Final Rose, but get her in the late rounds and watch her work her magic.
Every season needs that one aggressive, over-confident, crazy chick. Lace is that girl this season and she's more attractive than the crazy chick usually is. She's not gonna win, but a decent value pick here. And if you get additional points in your fantasy league for fights started, don't be afraid to pick her a round earlier.
I really thought Red Velvet was gonna make a sneaky run at the Final Rose. She did have a point though. Some are redhead fans, some are not. And Ben obviously is not.
I'm out on this girl. She drew a pair of cowboy boots and the University of Texas Longhorns logo on a charade card and then told Ben the answer wasn't "Austin". Common, LB, even I know the answer is "Austin" and I've only lived here for 4 months.
You never forget your first... out of the limo. A smoking hot flight attendant giving you a pair of wings? Every guy's dream. Very well played, Lauren. Very well played, indeed. This girl's going to be a serious player this season.
Here, let me throw you this bouquet I caught at a wedding last week just incase you aren't already freaking out about having to choose one of us to marry in 8 weeks.
Looks like Lauren R was the odd-Lauren out. Obviously you can't be carrying 3 Laurens on the roster, because thats just confusion waiting to happen. I actually thought the not telling him her name thing was a clever move, so not sure what Ben was doing letting her go and keeping the two blonde Laurens instead.
The worst part about her hiking the football was yelling "Higgy, higgy, hike, hike". Legit cringeworthy.
You brought a mini horse to a first impression cocktail party. Bold strategy, Cotton. We'll see if it pays off. (It didn't)
I'm pretty sure Jennifer Aniston's character in Horrible Bosses is based on this girl. We got a better chance of seeing Jeb as our next president than Mandi receiving the Final Rose, but never underestimate the power of the "Producer's Pick". She's going to be in this thing for longer than you think.
I actually tweeted that I was all in on Olivia after her and Ben talked for the first time. Unfortunately, she got the First Impression Rose. If you're looking for a safe pick who's going to make a long run, Olivia's your girl, but if you're in a winner take all league you might want to pass up on taking her with picks 1-4.
If I'm unemployed I'm probably spending $500 on something more practical than a hoverboard.
Just something about this one that I didn't like. And by something, I mean she's a mouth breather. A very loud mouth breather.
She doesn't speak English, sooo not really sure what's going on here...?
Ben called her "beautiful" three times when she got out of the limo, but you know what they say. "Never trust a girl with a chicken fetish". Or something like that...
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So, there's that. Not an overly exciting episode 1, but definitely a good precursor of what to expect moving forward. Hopefully we'll start to get some meltdowns soon and some fights started by Lace even sooner. See you all next week...
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